Spring has Sprung!

Like so many of you, I really enjoy this time of year.  Spring signifies re-birth, and that is truly the case with me.  It is during this time when I really kick my training into gear by walking several times a week.  I always feel like a healthier me.  I am getting up earlier, eating better, drinking more water, and getting fit.  Sometimes I enjoy the early morning solitude of walking by the farms as the fog hangs low in the field, cows staring as I walk by.  When I say it that way, it sounds kind of creepy, but it really isn't.  Then on the other hand, just as fun, is walking with a group of 10 women laughing and sharing stories of their escapades the evening before.  For this reason, I chose to become a 3-Day Training Walk Leader this year.

My first year I completed the walk, I didn't really participate in any of the Komen events.  Luckily, at the time, I didn't realize what I was missing.  I thought that I knew all I needed to know in order to have a successful event, and I did.  What I did not realize was that I was missing out on so much more--the friendships that blossom during that time.  I have said it before, but it takes a special kind of person to participate in the 3-Day.  I don't mean to sound boastful, or arrogant, but to take the time to train for hundreds of miles, and to raise thousands of dollars, this event has to be of significance to you.  When my friend Meredith runs her Get Started Meetings, she always tells a story about her brother and how he asked her what makes the 3-Day different from other events.  She replies that it is the "community of kindness" that the 3-Day creates.  What exactly is a "community of kindness?"  Simply said, it is bringing your best self to the event.  When you choose to walk 60 miles and raise $2,300, you are being your best self.  When you see someone sitting alone at dinner and you invite them over, you are being your best self.  When you are standing in a parking lot in 100 degree weather cheering your family on, you are being your best self.  When you volunteer to drive in to Boston, pick up your friend's luggage, schlep it a mile back to the car, walk back, and cheer them on as they proceed into Closing Ceremonies, you are being your best self.  Clearly, everyone who, in some way, participates in the 3-Day is bringing their best self.

So I decided to bring my best self and become a Training Walk Leader this year.  You may not think so, but this was a difficult decision for me.  I train with a group of women that really don't fit the training walk profile.  What I mean is that we didn't always follow the rules.  I know that might be a shock to some of you, but it is true.  We weren't blatant offenders, but could incur some minor infractions.  There would be the occasional cell phone conversation while walking, sometimes we would not stretch enough, Connie might not walk on the sidewalk, Connie could have us walking at a 5mph pace, and I believe there was one time when Connie did not bring water on a hot day.  So I guess that it really wasn't all of us...it was just Connie!  JK--xo Connie!  Seriously though, the fact that we were so comfortable with the way we did things, and how we were with each other, I was nervous about including new people and new rules at the same time; however, I figured it was important, so I signed up.

If the TWPs were unhappy about me being a TWL, they didn't show it.  Nine of them signed up for my first official training walk two weeks ago.  I had mapped out a great five mile route around Amesbury which included everything that it needed to--a few hills, a stroll along the river, water, restrooms, and stretching.  I remembered the echoes of Pit Stop volunteers, "HYDRATE, URINATE, STRETCH, STRETCH, STRETCH!!!"  I tried to anticipate everything.  I had waiver forms waiting to be signed, and my cell phone was charged.  I had water, and my safety speech was ready to be recited.  The one thing I didn't anticipate was that even though it was technically Spring, and some flowers have started to sprout, it is still felt like winter in New England.  I was not expecting 25 degrees, with a zero degree windchill.

Sherri the Safety Monitor AKA...Safety Spice!

We arrived at our starting point, the Rail Trail in Amesbury, behind the Stop & Shop.  We all waited in cars for the last of the stragglers.  When everyone was almost there, we began our stretching.  As I am just about to finish, Michele G. shows up with a special present in honor of my first training walk--a reflective vest with the words, "Sherri--AKA Safety Spice" emblazoned on the front.  Yes, I had made it to the big leagues.  I was now one of the Spice Girls.  All I needed was a pink whistle.  Having that vest allowed me to play up the safety role and made for a more entertaining walk.  I was proud of the Princesses for walking despite the freezing temperatures.

Since then, the TWPs also participated in the 3-Day Kick-Off event.  When you sign up to do the 3-Day you have a choice of which training schedule to do--a 24 week one or a 16 week one.  My first year I did the 24 week one.  At the time, I hadn't been doing anything physical and was just a year out of treatment.  I thought I needed that much time to be prepared.  I walked more than I needed to and was very burned out by the time the actual walk came around.  Since then I have opted for the 16 week schedule.  So, the Kick-Off event is a day where participants gather together and celebrate the beginning of the 16 week training schedule.

The TWPs in full force!

Cheryl sporting her new toy!

We met at New Balance in Burlington where we planned to do the first of two 3 mile training walks. Believe me, the TWPs were going to represent!  We had about 20 of our 33 teammates there! After checking in, the store was open just to 3-Day participants, and we got a special 20% discount.  Many of us loaded up on t-shirts, flip flops, and some of us even got sneakers. At 8:00 we began the first of the two walks.  It was a leisurely pace with one stop on the way.  I don't think the TWPs knew what to do!  We rarely walk at a leisurely pace.  After getting back to the store, we shopped some more, ate munchkins and waited for raffles. Lucky Cheryl won a really cool pedometer/heart rate monitor. 

Jenna, Melanie, and Dana

Julie and Lisa

While we were there I thought it was a good time to grab some photos of our new TWPs.  I hope that as the season progresses you will get to know them as well as you did last year.  They are a great group of women who are adding a whole new dynamic to our group.  There will definitely be tons of laughs on this year's walk.  In addition, they have renewed my energy, and once again reminded me why I continue to walk.  What I love most about them is that they all want to be a part of the "team" that we have created.  While some of us stayed in Burlington to do a second 3 mile training walk, another group went out for breakfast.  I have to admit I was a little bit jealous when I received a text from Cheryl with a photo of them sitting around a large table with the caption "Our second training walk."  I'm glad they had the opportunity to hang out a bit.  It is all part of the journey.

xo
Royally yours,
Sherri

Inspiration...it's contagious!

Even though there is still more snow on the ground than us native New Englanders have come to expect, I am sure that if you look out your window you will agree with me that it is finally beginning to melt.  With the promise of spring, comes numerous 3-Day activities.  Over the last month or so I have been volunteering at 3-Day Get Started Meetings--a LOT of them.  To quote my dear friend Sharyn, "I am a 3-Day addict."  These Get Started Meetings are such an important part of your journey as a 3-Day participant.  There are always a bunch of volunteers ready to offer support and encouragement.  Meredith or Mara, the two Boston Field Coordinators, run the meetings explaining just what this 60 miles is all about.

Arriving at these meetings, it is wonderful to see old friends, or those I have affectionately come to know as my "3-Day family."  Just as exciting is meeting the "newbies" who have no idea what to expect.   It is such an inspiring feeling to be surrounded by people who all share the same motivation and desire.  I think about the times in my life when I have been in groups like this.  Of course, there were those clubs I was in when I was in school, and those who shared the same major as me in college, and even my PTA friends, but this is different.  Maybe because we are talking life and death.  Everyone who is there is there for a specific reason.  We all have a story.  It seems that when you get a group of people together to talk about the 3-Day there is an electricity that reverberates through the room.

During some of the meetings, we have been watching our video "Walk Like a Princess."  Mind you, I have seen this video a million times.  My daughter Mia even says it is her favorite movie ever!  (Probably because she is in it, and her sister was too scared to be!)  But watching it in a room full of people who are about to embark on one of the most life changing experiences, adds a whole new level to it.  The first time I saw it in a group like this, I saw the tissues being passed around, and heard muffled sniffles.  I couldn't help but join in.  I hadn't cried watching it since the first month it was posted.  I think about when I say, "We have made a difference,"  and we have.  I looked around at the women in the room, and they were inspired.  My hope is for that chain reaction--for those women to inspire others too with their commitment to finding a cure.

While in a meeting one night, a 3-Day participant, Kathleen, said that she recognized me and Patty from our video.  As the meeting finished I approached her and asked her how she had seen it.  She explained that she had followed a New Balance link.  She had decided to complete the 3-Day because her sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  She said that her sister was having a very difficult time coping with this diagnosis when she happened to stumble upon our video.  During a visit with her sister in Pennsylvania, they viewed it together.  Kathleen told me that when I say, "cancer is not who I am,"  I truly made a difference in her sister's life.  It made her sister realize that cancer does not define her and has since changed her outlook on things.  Immediately the tears started.  To think that my words could have that affect on someone.  How humbling.  Another reason to continue this fight.

Just last night, Patty, Cheryl, and I were attending yet another GSM.   There were so many volunteers there, including Wayne from the "Pink Angel Posse," (he dresses up as a pink angel to cheer the walkers on) and Jeff, who is a one man team, "Baghdad Breast Defense."  Jeff is a Sergeant First Class in the Army and has been overseas many times, most recently returning from Kuwait.  He told us how he became involved in the 3-Day.  His sister had breast cancer, and upon celebrating her 5 year "cancerversary" they agreed to walk the 3-Day together.  Well, Jeff registered, and kept waiting for his sister to do the same.  Then came the conversation with his mother saying that his sister Kim's cancer had metastasized to her bones and brain--she would not be able to walk with him.  While overseas, Jeff began to train.  Fortunately for him, Jeff was able to come home on leave and walked his first 3-Day.  While at closing ceremonies, he scanned the crowd for Kim, but to his disappointment she was too sick to come.  Kim died in December of that year.  He continues to walk each year, now with his sister Jen by his side.  To see him speak of his story with such passion shows what a true hero he is. 

In addition to all of these outstanding volunteers that were at the meeting, we were also blessed with Maurine, TWP Extraordinaire, who arrived with her two sons.  Every time someone who does not know us watches our video, their first question is, "How is Maurine?"  To have her there as a survivor last evening made quite the impact.  If you don't know Maurine, she truly is one of a kind.  She is full of wit, sarcasm, bravery, love, and more hope than one could imagine.  During the walk she insisted on doing everything for herself in the midst of going through treatment.  Last night was the first night I ever caught a glimmer of her fear.  At the end of the meeting she stood up and asked Meredith if she could speak.  She looked at the crowd of potential walkers and implored them to not wait--to sign up today.  She continued saying she was the research and that she did not want to leave us five minutes before the cure was found.  She referenced her two boys, sitting off to the side, saying she wanted to see them graduate from school and have their own children.  Believe me when I say there was not a dry eye in the place.  All I could think of was her boys and how brave they are as well, to stand there and listen to their mom say she might not make it.  As scary as it is for me to think about losing a friend, I can't even fathom how Maurine's family feels.  I don't see how anyone could have walked out of that room without signing up for the walk. 

Today Patty and I are heading to the Haverhill Rotary meeting to discuss our experiences with cancer and the 3-Day.  We again will be showing our video with hopes to inspire those present to make a difference.  I believe we have made it pretty clear that one person can.  I ask you to please think about how you can too.

Royally yours,
Sherri
xo

What a crazy vacation!

After posting my most recent blog, I sent letters out to co-workers explaining my "cancerversary" and 5 years later asked for their support.  This time I was hoping their support would be in the form of a donation to my 3-Day walk.  Once again, my colleagues did not disappoint.  Donations have been coming in over the last few weeks, and I am on my way.   It makes me feel honored to have such giving people in my life.  If you would like to donate, just click on the link on this page.

While this blog appears to be an "everything is wonderful in the world" blog, it is; however, it didn't always start out that way.  Just two days after I distributed letters at work, I was rubbing my leg and I found it...yes, a lump.  Then further down on my leg, another one.  Many of you are probably saying, "I have a lump in my leg.  What is she worried about?"  You are right.  Many people have fatty deposits in their legs.  I have many friends that do.  But, these people have not had cancer.  I have said it before.  If you are a survivor, it is sometimes so difficult to stay away from that evil place.  I feel that I go through my entire life trying to be positive, but there are just times when I want to someone to say its okay that I got dealt a sucky hand.  Again, I have many friends that are battling much more difficult situations, but sometimes I just need, even for a minute, to think why did this happen to ME?  This was one of those times.  It was about 11 o'clock at night, and I tried to self-diagnose online.  Please, please, please don't ever do it!  I thought I had learned my lesson the first time, but obviously I didn't.  I walked upstairs inconsolable, only to wake my sleeping husband.  After 45 minutes of conversation and good old hugs, I finally fell asleep with the promise to call my oncologist in the morning.

The following day was a Friday, and I had to work.  I woke up feeling a bit better and determined to make it through the day.  As I sat in my office waiting to call my doc, I just lost it.  I called Patty on the phone and told her what was happening.  Patty was fabulous.  She knew exactly what I was feeling.  She said I had every right to be scared to death.  That was what I needed.  I needed someone to justify what I was feeling, not someone telling me that everything was going to be alright.  After I hung up the phone, Tracy and Carolyn, two friends from work, picked up where Patty left off.  Within the next 15 minutes I was waiting for a return phone call from my oncologist.  My breathing became less labored, and I made it through the day.  Around 6:30 that night, I heard back from them, and they had scheduled an appointment for me the following Friday.  My mind seemed a bit more at ease when they said that breast cancer doesn't usually manifest itself that way.

So I had to wait a week.  I could do that.  I was feeling a little more at rest after talking to my doctor.  I had Z's basketball game over the weekend, and all the craziness that goes with the week before vacation for a teacher.  As Saturday went on I started to develop a case of sciatica--a debilitating case.  The only time I had ever experienced it before was when I was pregnant with the girls.  Man, does it hurt!  By the end of the day, I was in bed speaking to the on-call doctor at my PCP's office.  She prescribed something, and over the next day or two, I began to feel better.

The waiting game continued.  Early in the week, was business as usual.  My back was feeling better, but I was extremely dehydrated.  The meds I was on were killing me.  I didn't feel like I was taking in enough water, but figured I could bear it for a few more days.

Tuesday night, Patty called and invited the family over for dinner Friday night.  I told her that we would love to and that I would need either celebrating or consoling because I was headed to DFCI that day.  She then told me she had an appointment with our oncologist one hour later.  We decided to make it a date, and go in together.  That way AZ wouldn't have to take off from work, and honestly, Patty is such a huge support.  She truly understands what I am going through.

Wednesday and Thursday evenings were spent volunteering at 3-Day Get Started Meetings--definitely a place to keep my mind occupied.  We all know how much I love speaking about the 3-Day.  I met some wonderful people, and a lot of them signed up.  Yahoo!

I came home Thursday evening ready to relax and watch American Idol which I had dvr'd.  At around 9:45, I started getting heart palpitations.  Those of you who know me, understand that this is something that happens, and has been checked out by my doctor; however, these were different.  They were lasting much longer and were not resolving themselves.  I decided to go to bed.  I figured that I was probably making myself more anxious, therefore making it worse.  As I lay it bed, it did get worse.  My chest started to feel heavy, and I began to have difficulty breathing.  All I could think of was that wouldn't it be just great if I beat cancer and died of a heart attack.  Seriously!  I told AZ we should probably go to the hospital, so we called my mom and dad, who always come to the rescue, to watch our little cherubs.  As we waited for them to arrive, I felt worse.  I made the decision to call 911.  I have heard so many stories of women and heart attacks.  I didn't want to be one of the statistics.  Shortly after, two adorable (of course) EMTs showed up at my house.  Upon the initial monitoring, they noticed something unusual and decided it would be best to take me to the hospital.   

The ride to the hospital was uneventful.  The most fearful part was that the EMT had to put an IV in my hand.  Keep in mind, how smooth Amesbury's roads are when you think of this.  Fortunately, he waited until we were stopped at a light.  He gave me some nitro and I started to feel better.

At the hospital I explained my situation, and told them what meds I was on.  I couldn't remember the name of the anti-inflammatory or the steroid for the sciatica, but they said that was okay.  They ran a bunch of tests, a chest x-ray, an ekg, and a slew of blood work.  The preliminary results looked good--just one more blood test to wait for.  They told me that as far as my palpitations were concerned, they were normal.  That made me feel much better.  While I was there, they gave me 2 liters of fluid and I still felt thirsty.  Weird.

A few moments later, the nurse came in and told me that my d-dimer test was slightly elevated.  This is a test that can determine whether you have a pulmonary embolism otherwise known as a  blood clot in your lung.  The way to rule this out is with a contrast chest CT.  I had one of those when I was first diagnosed.  When they insert the dye you have a rush of heat throughout your entire body, and you feel like you are peeing your pants.  It is truly a bizarre feeling.  The whole test takes about 5 minutes, and then you feel fine.  The down side is that you have to wait about 45 minutes for the results.

AZ and I dozed in and out of sleep in the ER for the next hour.  It was about 3:15AM when the doctor came in and informed us that everything looked good.  There was no blood clot.  Of course my question was why was my test elevated.  I was told that a good thing about this test was that it could rule out blood clots, but if it is elevated, it could be a number of things causing it to present that way.  They sent me home with instructions to follow up with my PCP the next day.

I crawled into bed at 3:30 only to be aroused by the alarm at 5:30.  Patty was picking me up at 6:15.  I again, dozed in and out on my way into DFCI.  Patty and I arrived early enough to navigate our way around the new building.  It is just gorgeous.  The healing garden is definitely something to see.

Our oncologist assured me that the lumps were just fatty deposits--of course they were.  We chatted about our video, which she had not seen yet because it was released after our last appointments.  We shared with her our excitement about the TWPs becoming a non-profit, and she gave us some great advice on ways to help women with the funds we raise.  She even squeezed Patty in earlier, and we were out the door before we knew it.  I would be home in time to call my PCP and get in to see him.

After a quick nap at home, I went to see my PCP.  While there I was talking with him about my sciatica and how dehydrated the meds were making me.  He didn't understand why until I showed him the pill bottles.  The on-call doctor, not affiliated with my practice, had prescribed the wrong medication for me.  The meds were not even remotely related to anything one would take for sciatica.  No wonder I felt awful.  He immediately told me to stop the meds and get some probiotics.  My whole system was out of whack!  He assumed this contributed to all of the palpitations.  Just to be on the safe side though he wanted to run a full cardiac work-up, but he said I was able to continue with all of my activities.  It was vacation after all!

Even with all of the craziness, vacation was off to a good start--I didn't have cancer, and I didn't have a heart attack.  It would be a week of rest, family visits, some basketball, and ski trips.  Of course my cardiac tests were thrown in there, but that was only one day. 

The highlight of the week (or so we thought) was our Tuesday night skiing trip with friends.  Gunstock has an amazing deal on Tuesday's from 4-9PM it is 2 people for $28!  You can't beat that.  The conditions were a little icy, but the kids had a blast skiing with their friends.  My kids just really started skiing this year, and they have taken off.  They love it, and have become confident skiers.  Little Mia is our daredevil and always wants to go as fast as she can.  She tries to go over jumps, and for being such a quiet girl, is just an aggressive skier; however, on Tuesday night, her daring personality got her into a bit of trouble.  On one of the last runs of the evening, Mia caught a little too much air on a jump and came down on her hand.  Bill, the EMT in First Aid, wasn't sure if she hyper-extended her thumb or broke it.  He immobilized her hand with this really cool cast made of cardboard and foam and advised us to see a doctor in the AM.

Long story short, my entire Wednesday was spent traveling back and forth to Anna Jacques Hospital.  By my third time there, I had forgotten where I had parked and spent 5 minutes looking for my car.  No joke!  I was there first for my cardiac echo, then for x-rays for Mia, back for my cardiac stress test, and back yet again for a hot pink cast for my sweet girl's right hand.  Yes, her thumb was broken.  Being the TWP that she is, of course she chose a hot pink cast.  The little thing handled everything so well until it was time to go to bed.  We all know that time when you are alone with your thoughts.  Well the same happens for kiddos too.  Mimi called to me, sobbing, saying it was all her fault, she never should have skied so hard, now she couldn't do gymnastics and had to wear a "stupid cast" for a month.  It just about broke my heart.  We had just planned more ski trips, and she is so close to getting her "kip" in gymnastics (one of the more difficult moves to get on the uneven bars).  In typical parent fashion, I explained how it could be much worse.  Just imagine if it were summer.  She eventually fell asleep and woke up with that same smile on her face.  A restful night can always make the world appear a little brighter.

Now it is Monday, and I am back to work, thinking about the week ahead.  Thursday night is our second TWP meeting.  I am so looking forward to having everyone together.  We have lots of plans in the works including our Second Annual "Dance Like a Princess" Dance/Silent Auction on Saturday, May 14th!  Be sure to save the date!  It is a night not to be missed.  We have changed the venue to Holy Family Parish Hall in Amesbury so that we can accommodate a larger crowd.  If you or someone you know would like to contribute an item to our auction, just let me know.  We would like to offer a variety of items ranging in price.

I'll keep you updated with the future endeavors of the TWPs.  Keep those donations coming!

Royally yours,
Sherri

2011--A Big Year

2011--This is a BIG year for me.  There was a time almost 5 years ago when I wondered if I would see this year.  This spring I will celebrate 5 years of survival.  In the world of breast cancer, that is a HUGE anniversary.  Over the last few years there have actually been times when I have forgotten that I had cancer.  They are most always times when I am doing something fun with my family--skiing, sitting on the beach at the Cape, running around Amesbury for M & M's Amazing Race birthday party, and several others. In the beginning, I never thought that would happen.  Mind you, these times are not always frequent, but they are there.  What exactly does that mean?  To me, it means that I am doing everything I can to stop this cancer from invading my body once again.  When I was first diagnosed, no one would have anticipated that I would run a 5K and then actually continue to run after the race.  I also never expected that I personally would raise almost $20,000 for breast cancer research--I had a hard time selling Girl Scout Cookies when I was a kid!  But to me, the most important thing in warding off my cancer is surrounding myself with positive energy--energy from me, my family, my friends, and of course the TWP's!  The people in my life are the ones that have gotten me through these five years.

Over the last few days I have been very nostalgic, reflective, and super emotional.  If I wasn't in menopause, I would think that I was PMSing.  Many of you have heard of my friend Bridget, and hopefully have read her blog My Big Girl Pants through the links I have shared.  If you have not, you really should read it.  Bridget is a 28 year old woman who has been living 6 years with metastatic breast cancer.  If you look in the dictionary, next to the word "hope" you will see Bridget's name.  Every time I read what she has written, I remember how fortunate I am to be surrounded by caring and inspirational people.  That in turn, brings me back to that summer five years ago.  I am sure that everyone of you have been in the situation that my family and friends were in that summer.  What do I say to her?  Can I do anything to help?  Does she want to talk about it, or should I just ignore it and pretend life as usual.  When I was diagnosed, I was very open about my situation--hiding it was not going to make it go away.  I am a high school teacher and a firm believer in teachable moments.  For that reason, I just opened up and let everyone in--family, friends, and students alike.  Because of this, I was lucky enough to have my friends do some really cool things for me.   I would love to list everything that they have done for me over time, but there is absolutely no way I could; however, I will include some of my favorites--a video of faculty and students wishing me well as I started chemo, a pajamagram, my red lipstick on the day of my mastectomy, Dream Dinners from Zach's baseball team, Tracy's picture of her photoshopped bald head, the basket of gift cards and activities for the kids from Zach's kindergarten class, my radiation kit, the hundreds of cards that hung on a bulletin board in my computer room for over a year, my surprise visit on my last day of chemo, and probably one of my personal favorites--house cleaning (something I have continued in the following years!)  Why do I tell you this?  Because it is so important to reach out to friends and family in need.  Most likely, they don't know what to say either.  If they don't want you around, they will let you know.  Nothing is lost by making an effort.

So, making an effort.  That is what I am planning to do.  The other day Patty and I sat at lunch talking about our upcoming speaking engagement.  Yep, we have been asked to speak at the Haverhill Rotary Club in March.  We were discussing the approach we were going to take, and Patty shared her New Year's resolution with me--"BE MORE."  It struck me.  I can do that. I can be a better parent, friend, and teacher.  I can work harder.  I can raise more money.  I can beat cancer.